This is an assumption that is sometimes made about quiet people. I have stopped myself from making this assumption, because it is one that is often made about me. I have always envied the people who have the gift of gab and can stop and talk to anyone. This is something that I have struggled with throughout my life. I worry about what to talk about, wondering if the person even remembers me, or do they really even like me. This summer I challenged myself venturing out on a trip with a group of ladies and I can already feel myself getting nervous. I know many of them who are going, but I am already thinking, will I have something to talk about, will any of them remember me, do they even like me?
Doesn’t mean I have little to say
Assumptions are made about people’s race, personality, life choices, social connections, jobs, hobbies etc. People are judged by what they appear to be, while inside, people want to scream out, “There is more to me than what you see, if you give me a chance you will see”.
We sometimes fall victim to the assumptions that we think people have of us, feeling insecure in ourselves, having relationship problems, or stopping ourselves from getting the help we need. These can begin early in childhood and carry on throughout life.
I was a bubbly outgoing child, but experiencing bullying in the preteen years, I lost a part of myself and became more quiet and insecure.
Doesn’t mean I am boring
This summer we had our 6th annual girls camp and we asked the girls to write a “Just Because” poem. This poem asks the writer to take a look at the assumptions that they believe others have of them and then challenge those assumptions.
“Just because I’m bullied, doesn’t mean I’m your target also” – Grade 7 student
“Just because I’m different, doesn’t mean I’m weird” – Grade 8 student
“Just because I’m funny, doesn’t mean I think everything is a joke” – Grade 5 students
In the final stanza of the poem, the writer takes a look at the positive characteristics they see in themselves:
“I am wonderful” – Grade 7 student
“I am unique” – Grade 8 student
“I like to make people laugh” – Grade 5 student
Writing and sharing these poems helps the writer to be heard and lets others have a better understanding of themselves. It also helps them to create connections, realizing they are not alone in the way that they feel.
Doesn’t mean I like to be alone
I challenge you to take a look at the assumptions you think others have of you and how it is affecting your life, or how assumptions that you make of others maybe affecting them. Find your positives and scream them out to the world, let them know what you have to offer. If you have made assumptions about others, try to understand them more. Where did they come from? How are they feeling? What has made them who they are? Talk to them, you may be surprised of what you will find.
I am a nice person
Susan Reich, Aim for Success Mentor